你我的躊躇

寂寞的夜裡  為何未能睡  這夜想著誰
想你的夜裡  混亂的思緒  很想你伴隨
無奈的夜裡  滿心是疑慮  我是你的誰
困惑的夜裡  怎樣走下去  我已經很累
疲乏的夜裡  總是揮不去  你我的躊躇

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

This 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' really got me yesterday.

Someone should have warned me to bring extra tissue paper to watch this show.

My tears started falling in the sketch called 'The Ledger People'. It is about a married couple keeping score for each other and saying "I love you" just to earn another point in each other's book. By the middle of the next sketch called 'Word Picture' which summaried the conflicts of modern day marriage , I was literally crying my heart out.  

Someone should have warned me a play like this would brought back memories of an undeniable past.

These two sketches meticulously exposed the constant struggles in a marriage - you vs me, me vs us, and us vs family. It reminded me so much how I felt when I was a wife working for my then husband.  The feeling that how good I was as a wife depended very much on how good I was at my job, in making money for the firm.  The feeling that I have to sacrifice everything including my heart and soul for the sake of the family. The feeling that the more I yearned for his love, the more I scared him away...

Someone should have told me this crazy little thing called LOVE is so addictive that even after a failed marriage, I still believe in love for :

LOVE ALWAYS HOPES.   ALWAYS PERSEVERES.

我們

我懷念"我們"

那沒開始,便已經結束的我們

那只憑一個眼神便心領意會的我們;
那投契得連我們自己都害怕的我們;
那疼錫到不忍任何傷害對方的我們;
那明知再走下去會翻不了身的我們;
那多麽不捨也要放手向前走的我們;
那連一張像情侶合照也沒有的我們;

那似無還有,似有還無的我們

我懷念"我們"

愛。任。性

愛情的任性

如飛蛾撲火

就算是短暫

就算會灼死

也在所不辭

越愛越寂寞？It takes 2 to be lonely

這陣子,有點懊惱,有些情緒找不到出口。

突然，腦海裡浮現這五個字:  越。愛。越。寂。寞。

錄於二零零九年十月十五日。

轉眼，原來已經五年。

越。愛。越。寂。寞。是一個愛情故事的開始。。。

當年的那個他，正是我"唔想承認嘅存在，但係亦都無法否認嘅存在";
當年的那個我，口口聲聲的説"我只想要愛得啱啱好, 唔想要再愛過籠，唔想、唔敢、亦唔願意喺愛入面唔見咗自己，再唔想被感情淹沒..."。
誰不知，結果我都是跟他徹徹底底的愛一次,愛到頭崩額裂。
我沒有後悔，因為就算"早知始終都要分開嘅話，當初就真係應該好好咁放手愛一次"...

五年後的今天, 再次想起 越。愛。越。寂。寞。，這又會是另一個愛情故事的開始嗎？又或者，今次可以"放喺心底，小小心心，安安全全咁愛著"？

聽罷，那些情緒找到了共鳴。。。

給我一個留下來的理由…

我仍在...是因為,我以為既然我留守不到對你的其他承諾，之少，我可以做的是好好努力守著我對你這最後承諾。

突然間，再找不到留低的理由，不想再撐下去…那句號，原來一早我應畫上。

辭職信，其實一早已打好，只是日期還沒有寫上。

有些愛情... 還沒有開始,便已經結束

有些人，就是有那一點點的什麼，

會令你有butterflies in the stomach 的感覺。。。

也許，那就是chemistry...

可是，Chemistry Does Not Guarantee Compatibility...

所以，有些愛情... 還沒有開始,便已經結束。

就在沒有什麼開始，也沒有什麼結束的這天，

讓我告訴你，其實，那天, 我笑得很開懷。

很久沒這樣開懷。